....as theological as I can get.....

....as theological as I can get.....

Monday, January 31, 2011


I'll just come out and say it: I love stuff. I love having an excuse to buy stuff--especially trinkets. This afternoon I took a trip to Immaculate Heart to see if I could get some literature to answer some of the questions I woke up perplexed with this morning. (Mommy, where do communion wafers come from?) Anyways, I went to the Catholic BOOKSTORE to get some BOOKS to READ, right? Wrong. Lemme let ya in on a lil' secret: Catholics love baubles, doodads, gewgaws and gimcracks! There were books in there, towards the back, but first I had to wade through Crucifixes, cases of Rosary beads, statues, Rosary rings, Saint coins, Saint stones, Rosary cards, Saint cards, Rosary magnets with Saints on them reciting The Rosary while holding a Crucifix, and even guitar picks with teeny tiny prayers inscribed on them. Oh, and everything is gold. Yellow gold. Gaudy gold. I think that is where the term Gaudy comes from... Catholics use an INSANE amount of yellow gold leafing on, well, God and everything else. Fortunately, gold leaf is safe to ingest. Can you imagine if Catholics had chosen Chrome Yellow PbCr04 instead of gold leafing for all those embellishments?!?
Anyways, I picked up some paperback books after I hit up the 75% off table and magnet bin and am looking forward to reading all about the thing that I watched those people do last night, i.e. Mass.
My Loot

Why should JesusFish and RULDS stickers be the only decals on the road..Ladies and gent's I introduce you to the fine company, Catholicar! Bumper stickers for "Roamin'" Catholics.

A decal for you?
...And lastly, this is where communion wafers come from.

**Does your church have cool trinkets? Julie Marie wants to know!**

Blog b lookin' fiiiine.

I wanted to say thanks to Jess @ IROCKSOWHAT for fixing my blog and making it look all respectable-like. Thank you, Thank you.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Virgin no more.

I have officially had my first Catholic experience. To make up for my fiasco this morning I went to the Cathedral of the Madeleine in Salt Lake City for 6pm mass. First let me just say that the cathedral is GORGEOUS outside and in. The religious art adorning the interior is super Roman Christian era, and everything is inlaid with gold. I was glad I came 15 minutes early so I could just sit in a pew to take it all in by myself.
The 40 minute drive was eventful in itself. I blared Hall & Oates the whole way and seat belt danced my jitters away. Private Eyes is my Handel's Messiah (it probably would be The Annunciation..H2O would definitely be The Passion and Big Bam Boom would be The Aftermath for sure).
As I turned onto South Temple Street, and drove past the LDS Salt Lake Temple, a thought popped into my head pertaining to the sticker on the back of my Ford Focus. This Sticker.

(I texted JS asking if my tires were going to get slashed for having such a sacrilegious decal adorning my vehicle, and he responded with "The Pope is Dope".)
I parked, tried in vain to peel the sticker off, gave up and walked to the cathedral's entrance.
Ready for anything, I pushed open the giant wooden door and was met by a smiling...Black Priest?
**Excuse my seemingly racist comment, but you must understand that I was raised in a predominantly white LDS church in a predominantly white wealthy town. I have never been in a church and seen, well, a black person. **
After receiving the day's program from the priest, I found a pew comfortably (but not completely) near the back of the Chapel (is it called a chapel? I think so) and sat.The church filled up with TONS of people, of all different ethnicity's. It was really cool. Did you know that there are Catholic Indian people? Well there are, and they are in Salt Lake City Utah.
The service was nice..Lots of sing talking, standing, sitting, kneeling and the like.
Did I feel God? I don't know..I felt relaxed. It was odd. Church usually makes me on edge. JS was right, and only half of the congregation got in line for the communion, and only every 3 people threw a buck in the donation baskets. After the service ( I really liked the melodic chant, "Mass is ended you may go...") I didn't get heckled or pressured to talk and divulge any information about myself. In fact, no one gave a crap that I even came. I appreciated that, and may return to not get noticed again.
Here are some pictures of The Cathedral of the Madeleine, courtesy of Saltlakecitycathedral.org

Failure, thy name is J Marie

I should be in a church right....Now. Literally now. I failed on my first try. I didn't do it on purpose, did I?
Let's see..I woke up at 930. Thirty minutes later than I should have, but one hour should have been workable amount of time to get my hair flat ironed, contacts in and dress on.

Sent via text at 10:25 am
Me: Darn it...I tried to go to church..not happening today. I'm not ready and V's church shoes that match her dress didn't make it home with her, like her dad said they did (yes, I threw my ex under the church bus).
JS: Sorry love, but there's church all day you know.

Huh? Church all day? Seriously? Why?

JS: Sometimes it takes people all day to convince themselves to go.

...If at first you don't get your ass up for church, go to a later mass.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Fully Briefed

What follows is a conversation via text between myself and JS (JS is my one Catholic friend, and oldest friend on the face of the planet). T-12 hours before I hit up my first church, St. Peter Parish-Mass tomorrow at 10:30 am. I have never been to church by myself, much less an intense Catholic one.

Me: I'm going to Mass tomorrow. What do I wear?? Do I just show up or what? I'm getting weirded out about going...
JS: Formal casual is usually the garb, people don't really show up in ties and flower dresses..but ur in Utah so who knows. Everywhere else is nice casual.
Me: :( I'm really nervous. Totally out of my comfort zone to go. Do I just show up and sit down? Or do I have to tell someone I'm not Catholic?
JS: Just show up and sit in a pew, stand, sit and kneel when everyone else does. When its time for communion, do not get up and go..about half of the people wont go. Ur supposed to have confession before u eat communion. When tithing happens they just pass a basket around, ur not required to put anything in. Again, The Church is very loose, everything is very repetitious and ancient..
Me: What do I do with the kid?? Is is like tambourine church where she goes to a day care? Does she stand, sit and kneel with me?
JS (calling me at this point): Look, these people probably aren't  tightly knit. Just sit and watch. It will probably go quick...Just wrangle your kid, don't do anything offensive and try not to stare. The Catholic Church doesn't need more members so you wont be pressured..well maybe the Utah Catholics.

Alright...wish me luck. I'll have a full report tomorrow.