....as theological as I can get.....

....as theological as I can get.....

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

No love..

...For the Methodist church on my poll~!?
 Happy February! As I was sitting in Art History 2710 today, listening to my professor lecture on Grecian Geometric period, I started to think about the Greek's religious stories, and then realized that it's already February, which led me to think about Aphrodite, and love and the theme of this sick, sappy month.
Do you know Mighty Aphrodite's story?? 

Think back to the 5th grade.. waaaay back. Remember when your teacher, in my case Mrs. Gargol, called you and your sweet, innocent fellow 5th graders to the story time rug to recite the myth of Uranus and Gaia from Greek Mythology? Uranus (Father Heavens) and Gaia (Mother Earth) were lovers, but like the typical jerky boyfriend, Uranus couldn't commit and forbade Gaia to give birth to their children.  Because the pill wasn't available, Gaia just "held it in". As you can imagine, Gaia's uterus began to get pretty crowded with unborned kiddos (The Titans) fighting over the one freaking mirror in the bathroom. As you can also imagine, Gaia had some pretty wicked cramping. Conspiring with her then in-utero son, Chronus, she forged a sickle out of steel (kegals ladies!) and instructed Chronus to attack Uranus the next time she and he had intercourse.
Well, about 10 minutes later Uranus came 'round for the usual "hotcha cha cha"....What a shocker when Chronus chopped off Uranus's manhood and threw it into the sea! From a Lorena Bobbit moment, sea foam and some salt water, Aphrodite was born. The goddess of love..and severed sea shmeckels.

FYI, The Titans were borned, and Chronus ended up following in his Fathers footsteps and jerking his wife around too.

Happy Love Month. 


  1. Yah, that's right. Shmeckel is one of my labels for this post.

  2. Severed sea schmeckels! Ha!

  3. Mrs. Gargol?!?!?! Woah.......blast from the past.