Apostolic let down...This isn't over.

I don't think I have ever been in the presence of a nicer group of people. 

This is the primary reason I will most likely never return to this particular congregation again. 

Folks, I am kind of bummed out about this post. I showed up for 10am service with the high hopes of meeting and seeing some crazy, crazy worshipers. I don't know if I chose the wrong Sunday, or this congregation is relatively mellow, but it was just a normal tambourine-ish church. I, once again, sat in the back and looked at the back of everyone's heads..Which were awesome! Swirly braids, prom style up-do's and BUNS. Oh, the buns. I am really sad that there was no Holy Ghost Explosion, or Cah-razy praise break for me to secretly video and post on the blog. I will, however, make plans to visit a larger congregation out of state. I just have to see these people in action.
Sorry to disappoint y'all. 

Here's a gratuitous youtube vid of what I wish I would have seen today.

UPCI Ho!

Tomorrow. 10AM. First Apostolic Church of Salt Lake City. (Pentecostal Church)

I will just preface tomorrow's post by letting you all know that:
1. I know nothing about this faith.

2. Finding a listing for a Pentecostal congregation in Utah that was active every Sunday was not easy. I had lots of random leads (manta, yellow pages, etc), which led me to sites that were no longer active, and phone numbers that had been disconnected.

3. When you plug the word "Pentecostal" into your search engine, a suggestion of "Pentecostal Hairstyles" will pop up. When you image search those hairstyles, pompadours and intricate braids akin to the ones worn by my FLDS relatives will dominate your Bing image page. 

**Here's why: An apostolic hairstyle is one that's associated with the Pentecostal religion. Typically, orthodox women of the Pentecostal faith don't cut or even trim their hair, instead growing it as long as possible. 

Read more: How to Create Apostolic Hairstyles | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5471906_create-apostolic-hairstyles.html#ixzz1D6zlrZTt

I'll give you a run down on the hair, the sermon and the experience tomorrow, I guess!

http://www.firstapostolicchurchslc.org

No love..

...For the Methodist church on my poll~!?
 Happy February! As I was sitting in Art History 2710 today, listening to my professor lecture on Grecian Geometric period, I started to think about the Greek's religious stories, and then realized that it's already February, which led me to think about Aphrodite, and love and the theme of this sick, sappy month.

Do you know Mighty Aphrodite's story?? 

Think back to the 5th grade.. waaaay back. Remember when your teacher, in my case Mrs. Gargol, called you and your sweet, innocent fellow 5th graders to the story time rug to recite the myth of Uranus and Gaia from Greek Mythology? Uranus (Father Heavens) and Gaia (Mother Earth) were lovers, but like the typical jerky boyfriend, Uranus couldn't commit and forbade Gaia to give birth to their children.  Because the pill wasn't available, Gaia just "held it in". As you can imagine, Gaia's uterus began to get pretty crowded with unborned kiddos (The Titans) fighting over the one freaking mirror in the bathroom. As you can also imagine, Gaia had some pretty wicked cramping. Conspiring with her then in-utero son, Chronus, she forged a sickle out of steel (kegals ladies!) and instructed Chronus to attack Uranus the next time she and he had intercourse.
Well, about 10 minutes later Uranus came 'round for the usual "hotcha cha cha"....What a shocker when Chronus chopped off Uranus's manhood and threw it into the sea! From a Lorena Bobbit moment, sea foam and some salt water, Aphrodite was born. The goddess of love..and severed sea shmeckels.

FYI, The Titans were borned, and Chronus ended up following in his Fathers footsteps and jerking his wife around too.

Happy Love Month. 

Stuffaligious

I'll just come out and say it: I love stuff. I love having an excuse to buy stuff--especially trinkets. This afternoon I took a trip to Immaculate Heart to see if I could get some literature to answer some of the questions I woke up perplexed with this morning. (Mommy, where do communion wafers come from?) Anyways, I went to the Catholic BOOKSTORE to get some BOOKS to READ, right? Wrong. Lemme let ya in on a lil' secret: Catholics love baubles, doodads, gewgaws and gimcracks! There were books in there, towards the back, but first I had to wade through Crucifixes, cases of Rosary beads, statues, Rosary rings, Saint coins, Saint stones, Rosary cards, Saint cards, Rosary magnets with Saints on them reciting The Rosary while holding a Crucifix, and even guitar picks with teeny tiny prayers inscribed on them. Oh, and everything is gold. Yellow gold. Gaudy gold. I think that is where the term Gaudy comes from... Catholics use an INSANE amount of yellow gold leafing on, well, God and everything else. Fortunately, gold leaf is safe to ingest. Can you imagine if Catholics had chosen Chrome Yellow PbCr04 instead of gold leafing for all those embellishments?!?
Anyways, I picked up some paperback books after I hit up the 75% off table and magnet bin and am looking forward to reading all about the thing that I watched those people do last night, i.e. Mass.

My Loot

Why should JesusFish and RULDS stickers be the only decals on the road..Ladies and gent's I introduce you to the fine company, Catholicar! Bumper stickers for "Roamin'" Catholics.

A decal for you?

...And lastly, this is where communion wafers come from.

**Does your church have cool trinkets? Julie Marie wants to know!**

Blog b lookin' fiiiine.

I wanted to say thanks to Jess @ IROCKSOWHAT for fixing my blog and making it look all respectable-like. Thank you, Thank you.

Virgin no more.

I have officially had my first Catholic experience. To make up for my fiasco this morning I went to the Cathedral of the Madeleine in Salt Lake City for 6pm mass. First let me just say that the cathedral is GORGEOUS outside and in. The religious art adorning the interior is super Roman Christian era, and everything is inlaid with gold. I was glad I came 15 minutes early so I could just sit in a pew to take it all in by myself.
The 40 minute drive was eventful in itself. I blared Hall & Oates the whole way and seat belt danced my jitters away. Private Eyes is my Handel's Messiah (it probably would be The Annunciation..H2O would definitely be The Passion and Big Bam Boom would be The Aftermath for sure).
As I turned onto South Temple Street, and drove past the LDS Salt Lake Temple, a thought popped into my head pertaining to the sticker on the back of my Ford Focus. This Sticker.

(I texted JS asking if my tires were going to get slashed for having such a sacrilegious decal adorning my vehicle, and he responded with "The Pope is Dope".)
I parked, tried in vain to peel the sticker off, gave up and walked to the cathedral's entrance.
Ready for anything, I pushed open the giant wooden door and was met by a smiling...Black Priest?
**Excuse my seemingly racist comment, but you must understand that I was raised in a predominantly white LDS church in a predominantly white wealthy town. I have never been in a church and seen, well, a black person. **
After receiving the day's program from the priest, I found a pew comfortably (but not completely) near the back of the Chapel (is it called a chapel? I think so) and sat.The church filled up with TONS of people, of all different ethnicity's. It was really cool. Did you know that there are Catholic Indian people? Well there are, and they are in Salt Lake City Utah.
The service was nice..Lots of sing talking, standing, sitting, kneeling and the like.
Did I feel God? I don't know..I felt relaxed. It was odd. Church usually makes me on edge. JS was right, and only half of the congregation got in line for the communion, and only every 3 people threw a buck in the donation baskets. After the service ( I really liked the melodic chant, "Mass is ended you may go...") I didn't get heckled or pressured to talk and divulge any information about myself. In fact, no one gave a crap that I even came. I appreciated that, and may return to not get noticed again.
Here are some pictures of The Cathedral of the Madeleine, courtesy of Saltlakecitycathedral.org

Failure, thy name is J Marie

I should be in a church right....Now. Literally now. I failed on my first try. I didn't do it on purpose, did I?
Let's see..I woke up at 930. Thirty minutes later than I should have, but one hour should have been workable amount of time to get my hair flat ironed, contacts in and dress on.

Sent via text at 10:25 am

Me: Darn it...I tried to go to church..not happening today. I'm not ready and V's church shoes that match her dress didn't make it home with her, like her dad said they did (yes, I threw my ex under the church bus).

JS: Sorry love, but there's church all day you know.

Huh? Church all day? Seriously? Why?

JS: Sometimes it takes people all day to convince themselves to go.

...If at first you don't get your ass up for church, go to a later mass.